Friday, October 26, 2012

God Sighting...

I haven't posted in (what feels like) forever!  But, I wanted to make sure that I shared with you all one way GOD revealed Himself to me in a huge way this week.

Tuesday morning while I was driving to work, I had an overwhelming burden for a friend who is in my bible study class.  Just recently, she shared with me something very private about her life and used her situation to encourage me.  She wanted me to know that when I felt God couldn't use me in my imperfect condition that I had encouraged her unknowingly.  Since this time, I have thought of and often prayed for her.  Back up to Tuesday morning, she was on my heart heavily...  I prayed to God for her and her specific situation asking Him to move in big ways...And I was hesitant to let her know, but I decided to email her because I wanted to encourage her.

Boy did He move!  In HUGE ways...immediately...
It's almost as if when I got the words out of my mouth that God put into action His plan...

Now, I think God was trying to show Himself to my friends family, but He also wanted to show Himself to me...

I know this is somewhat confusing without delving out too many private details, but I said all of that to say this: 
Pray for others.

Just as Paul coveted the prayers of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, it is so important that we continue to lift each other up in prayer.  I can't accurately convey its importance.

Here is a commentary I found that says so eloquently the importance of praying for each other:

Let us learn to value the effectual fervent prayers of the righteous.
How careful should we be, lest we forfeit our interest in the love and prayers of God's praying people!
If we have experienced the Spirit's love, let us not be wanting in this office of kindness for others.
Those that would prevail in prayer, must strive in prayer.
Those who beg the prayers of others, must not neglect to pray for themselves.
And though Christ knows our state and wants perfectly, he will know them from us.
As God must be sought, for restraining the ill-will of our enemies, so also for preserving and increasing the good-will of our friends.
All our joy depends upon the will of God.
Let us be earnest in prayer with and for each other,
that for Christ's sake, and by the love of the Holy Spirit,
great blessings may come upon the souls of Christians,
and the labours of ministers.

Do you have a prayer request?  Please share it below so we can pray for each other today and in the days ahead.

Be blessed!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

"I want to be Pursued" (too)

I loved today's Girlfriends in God post written by Sharon Jaynes about the many ways that God tries to woo and pursue us.  We (as women) love that kind of stuff, don't we? 

When I met Kyle, I was so frustrated.  I had given him my phone number, but several days had passed before he FINALLY called.  Apparently, there is some unwritten guy code of a "3 day rule" (insert lots of eye rolling)!  But when he called, it was the phone call which would change my life.  I knew immediately that he was different...and I even told him early on in our relationship he would be the man I married.  Now, I'm so surprised that comment didn't send him running for the hills...
The truth is, he gave me heart literally fluttered with joy that after heartbreak I was seeing the purpose in my past broken relationships:  God was bringing me to this point in my life, to meet this amazing man He had created just for me, to love and have love me in return... 

Today is our 9th anniversary, and comparing our love story to the love story Christ wants to share with me is hard to wrap my head around.  Like Kyle, God has continually did things for me to let me know that He was mindful of me.  Most recently, yesterday...

I've been going to school to be a teacher for the past 3 years.  To make a long story short, I should have graduated last spring, but once the bottom fell out of the local economy I was skiddish of quitting my job (a job I was blessed to have) to student teach.  I realize that this shows little faith on my part, and believe me, I've spent the past few months living in regret...  Yesterday, I tried to register for one of the SIX remaining courses I need at a local community college, but I was told since my prerequisite was 10 years old, the community college would not accept it.  Didn't matter I have been a student for the past 10 years; didn't matter I already have a bachelors and associates degree; it didn't matter I had taken 5-6 other ENG classes in the past 3 years.  This one class--the only prerequisite--was too old to count. 
I was heartbroken (and may have spent a few hours crying and feeling defeated)...

I couldn't understand why God had given me the desire to teach and a student's heart (a love for learning) to only put roadblocks and huddles up in my way.  I couldn't discern whether this was a "not now" or a "no" from God. 

This is how amazing our God is...

As of last night our preacher asked us to teach Sunday School (5th and 6th graders) for the next year!  It's by no accident that we were chosen for this age group--my teaching degree will be in Middle Grades Ed.   Do you know how amazing this is?!?  The Lord knew I was so discouraged in finishing my degree that He actually provided a way for me to teach until I can finish school!  And if that wasn't enough already, He also led me to apply to another community college who has pulled some strings to get me into the same class TODAY! 

I know the past 24 hrs have been full of instances where the Lord has been pursuing me...

How is He pursuing you?  Are you paying attention?

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Are you Full?

For the past 8 weeks I have been participating in a bible study called "Run 4 God."  This is a unique bible study in that not only are you becoming spiritually fit, but you are becoming physically fit as well.  It's been a hard, sweaty, wonderful, tiring, takes-your-breath-away (literally) journey.  I started out as unable to run 60 seconds without stopping.  Now, I can run 10 minutes and even ran my first mile without stopping!  There are days I still struggle, especially with the humidity and my asthma, but I have learned to call on the Lord when I am weary and He gives me the strength to make it to the next interval.

In my bible study, I read the following passage and it really hit home for me...

"My kids had a pet rabbit for years...over the became difficult for them (kids) to find time to feed the rabbit...One day we went to the cage to find a motionless rabbit.  It had died.  The kids didn't mean to starve it, or want to see their pet die.  But when you don't feed a rabbit, it dies."

I don't eat healthy, never have.  I am not really a breakfast eater, and when I am, my typical diet consists of potato chips and or chocolate bars.  (Potato chips do count as veggies, right?)  But this section really got me thinking of what I'm putting in my body...or more importantly, what I'm not putting in my body.

"Life lessons hurt...when you stop doing the things you need to do, destructive results are my spirit the Lord said, 'You know you should feed your soul with the Word of God.  When you don't, you starve me, because my Spirit lives inside of you.'"


I'll give you a minute to let that sink in.  'When you don't (feed your soul), you starve me, because my Spirit lives inside of you.'

"What you do for your spiritual health you would never do for your physical health.  Not many of us are missing meals.  But many of us are missing our spiritual meals.  When you see the pictures of Africa starving to death, your heart breaks for them."

"Maybe God looks at us in the same way.  Maybe he sees us as a starving malnourished child, barely alive spiritually, and His heart breaks."

---Chapter 8, pages 83-84 of "Run for God" by Mitchell Hollis

Lord, this has been such an eyeopening Chapter for me.  It really convicted me and of the minimal time I make for you.  I have been starving Your Spirit inside of me Lord.  I am so very sorry.  Please help convict me!  While I am making time for unimportant things, convict me Lord...make me remember that it is because of You that I am here today.  It is because of You that I have every single possession in my home.  Whether its picking up a book or flipping on the TV...Lord convict me to ask myself if I've been souled out for You today?  Ask me, 'How can you be souled out for Me tomorrow?'  While I am running Lord, may it be a time that I can grow closer to You...through music, prayer, quoting scripture...In the quiet of my run, may I take the time to listen to You and what you are saying to my heart.  Help discipline me to feed my soul with your Word and things of God just as I would feed my body...may you always remind me of this analogy when I am starving your spirit.  In your precious name I pray, Amen.

Monday, July 16, 2012

The Broken Seed

Today's Girlfriends in God devotional is most definitely worth the time to read.  I loved the story of how child like faith and broken seeds can still grow something beautiful.  Here's a little snippet.  Click here to read the entire article.

"You may be hopeless, clinging to the broken and mismatched remnants of your life, wondering how you can go on. Whispers of the enemy creep into your heart, soul and mind, taunting you with the lie that you are just too dirty and broken for God to love or use. Nothing you do can change that reality so you might as well give up, throwing your life away. 

Nothing could be further from the truth, my friend. Never underestimate the power of one, tiny broken seed.  Placed in the right hands, it will surely grow into an expression of His beauty for all to see."

Have any of you felt broken?  I felt broken when my high school sweet-heart turned out not to be so sweet.  I was broken when I attempted suicide.  I was again broken when I changed high schools my junior year to "start over."  I was broken when I was in an automobile accident that almost took my life.  I was broken when I went to college and sought satisfaction in worldly things.  I was broken when I miscarried my first child...and re-broken when I miscarried my second.  I was broken as I walked through infertility for five years.  I was broken when I was passed up on another job promotion.  Again, I was broken when my grandpa died before we could have "the talk" that I had forgiven him for his shortfalls as a grandparent.  I was broken when my job was outsourced.  And, most recently I was broken when I witnessed my best friends newborn baby take his last breath at 28 days old. 

More importantly than being broken, I was healed...

I was healed from my broken heart when I read "We know what real love is because Christ gave up His life for us" (1 John 3:16 nlt) and I was able to experience what true love felt like through Christ and the man I would later call my husband.

I was healed from my suicide attempt when I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior and He promised me  "that everyone who believes in me will have eternal life." (John 3:15 nlt) 

I was given a fresh beginning when I read, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17 kjv)

I was healed from the physical ailments from my car wreck, miscarriages, and infertility by praying, "O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me."  (Psalm 30:2) 

I was healed from my worldly habits by reading "Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord.." (2 Corinthians 6:17 kjv). 

I was also healed from my miscarriages, the death of my grandpa, and the death of my best friends son's passing when I read "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;" (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 kjv). 

I was healed from my job situations when I read "Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." (Colossians 3:23 nlt). 

I was healed from the bitterness I carried toward my grandpa and his lack of involvement in my life when I read "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander as well as all types of malicious behavior.  Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:31-32 nlt)

So, what I am trying to say?  What good has came from my brokenness? 

God's word is healing.  And He masters in taking mess ups and turning them into messages.  He will take your trial and turn it into triumph.  He will turn your test into a testimony...Where there are broken seeds, He will water you with his love; He will give you sunshine of hope where there's none; and He will grow something beautiful out of your heartache and broken seeds.

What broken seeds do you have?  How did God use it to grow something beautiful?

Monday, June 18, 2012

The Cross

A few weeks ago, I stumbled across the devotional called Girlfriends In God.  It has quickly become one of my favorites.  Today's devotional is titled, "God's Gift To You."  It speaks specifically of the cross and the meaning behind it's symbolism, but it also speaks of those little gifts--you know, the ones where you know God is being mindful of you during that moment.  At the end of each devotional, there is a "Now It's Your Turn" section where the author gives you a few questions to think about. 

What does the cross mean to you?
The cross is a sign of hope to me.  It lets me know that I have Someone who will always have my best interest at heart.  It gives me hope in something--or Someone--who is greater than anything my mind can comprehend.  It gives me hope that I will see my loved ones again in paradise. 

Also, the cross serves as a reminder of Jesus' crucifixion and the terrible beating that He took to erase my sins.  It reminds me that this world is not the end, nor will it compare to the riches and goodness waiting for me.  It reminds me of how the earth once turned their backs on a loving God and how He chose to love/forgive them anyway.   

Lastly, the cross means that I can now have eternal life.  It means I have something tangible--an outward testament--to something I believe.  It says to the world, "I believe in Jesus Christ, the only Son of God."  It says to me, "He loved me this much!"   

How would you explain that to someone who doesn't know Christ?
I would explain what the cross means to me using God's Word.  I would begin by telling someone the Easter Story.  I would begin by telling them of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  I would tell the person that despite the beating and injuries Jesus was sustaining, He still carried this cross on His beaten, bleeding shoulders up the hill to cavalry.  I will tell them that although He died hanging on the cross, that the story just begins here.  I would tell them that on the 3rd day He rose again and lives today. 

Why is the message of the cross called the power of God?
In my opinion, the message of the cross is the power of God because it finally gives truth to all of the warnings Jesus had given us.  While Jesus was sent to earth in the likeness of man, He preached many times of that He had come to give God glory and give us life.  Because He died on the cross and rose again, we have eternal life in the presence of God.

Have you ever felt that God placed something right before you as a special gift or reminder of His presence?
My children are an everyday reminder of God's goodness and how He chooses to bless us despite our many flaws.  My husband--and how God could have created someone so perfect for my life and just knowing God was being mindful of me when he created Kyle--blows me away.  God continually puts small blessings or reminders in front of me that sometimes I see and sometimes I miss.  Its up to us to be as mindful of Him as He is of us.  This is something that I really need to work on, and perhaps I'll join in on the 1000s blessings that many of you are doing.  I know all good things come from God.  He's here--everywhere!  I just need to be more focused on seeing Him and His presence in my life.

What about you? Now it's your turn... =)

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Attitude = Anger

I few days ago, I wrote this post on what God was teaching me about my attitude.  For the record, I felt that I was making progress by getting all my feelings written down, admitting that I was the problem.  Perhaps there was some progress made:  as I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to the contemporary christian station when I heard the most brilliant, logical advice.  The announcer said "It's either partly cloudy or partly sunny today.  You choose."  I mindfully chose partly sunny...or did I?

What is it about going into work and all your goals flying out the window?  Does this happen to anyone else?  Is it my job?  Is it the stress from my job?  It is my coworkers?  Or, is it me?  I vote me.  I have a bad attitude...

So, here I am once again returning to the article titled "Check Your Attitude" for some perspective.

1. Identify and Repent of Bad Attitudes

Acts 8:22 "Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you."

Identify:  If I would be asked to put my finger on exactly what I suspect the source cause of my "bad attitude" to be, I would have to say its my lack of self-fulfillment.  I want to be a teacher.  I've worked so hard to pursue that goal, but given the economy I've had to postpone that dream. a battle for me.  It's a battle for me to get up and go into work--despite that I love my coworkers, despite that I for the most part "like" my job.  It's just not what I want to be doing.  It's not what I am suppose to be doing.  It's not what I was born to be doing, and I get that I'm acting like a baby while I sulk (basically). 

Repent:  Okay, Lord, I'm sorry.  Your ways are not my ways.  I'm sorry that I continue to be a stingy brat...In stead of "I want, I want, I want" I need to be more mindful of what "You want, You expect, You deserve."  I get it.  It is partly sunny...when I choose to look at life that way.

2. Submit Your Attitudes to God
"Bring your attitudes into obedience to God’s Word. Apply discipline to your thought life — submit your thoughts to those of Christ’s. A good attitude is a matter of faith, disregarding your feelings, with a determination to embrace God’s outlook and disposition."

2 Corinthians 10:5 "casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ..."

Lord, here is my attitude.  You can have all of it.  The good, bad, and the ugly.  Help me to transition my negative thinking and energy into positive--overwhelming positive and perfect obedience to You.  Give me patience where there is none.  Give me silence when I want to speak negatively or complain.  Give me fulfillment in the current job I am working.  Help turn my bad attitude into something big for you.

3. Equip And Feed Your Attitudes
Dwell on the things that God’s word tells us to — those good and virtuous things. If you dwell on the negative, your attitude will reflect the same.

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy; meditate on these things."

Lord, when I begin to dwell on the negative (or the partly cloudy sky), I pray you will gently remind me of the good and virtuous things I have in my life.  I have a Lord and Savior who loves me so much He died for my sins (like these).  I have a husband and best friend who loves and supports me when I can't even stand to be around myself.  I have two, handsome, healthy, funny boys who make my life soooo much more fulfilled than any career ever could.  I have a roof over my head, shoes on my feet (new running shoes!), food on my table, and many, many other blessings that I seem to let the negativity overshadow.  Lord, these are the things that Paul suggests we mediate me to be mindful of his sound advice.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

What God is Teaching Me...About Attitude...

"Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths."
(Psalm 25:4)
God is currently teaching me about my attitude.  Being a Christian with a bad attitude is counter-productive to your Christian walk.  My attitude as of late stinks!  I've been in a bad mood for a few days.  I don't have any reason to justify my moodiness or overall sense of "blah"...I'm just stuck in a rut.  Nothing to blame, but no way out.  I have an overall sickly feeling of "all someone has seen of Christ is my bad mood..."

So, what's with the attitude? 

Well, attitude is an outward presentation of inner dispositions of your heart and thoughts.  The dispositions tend to show up in our actions and are usually contagious to anyone who is watching.  The only person who truly knows your heart and thoughts is the Lord, Jesus Christ.  (Thank goodness, right?)  God's word tells us that we can never hide from Him.  He knows our hearts; He knows our thoughts before we even do. 

So, what do we do when we have no idea what's in our heart or thoughts that is putting us in a bad mood? 

Well, you pray for starters.  You ask God to search your heart and thoughts.  You read God's word, maybe starting here...and you start the day over.

Psalm 139
O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.
Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.
Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
19 Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
20 For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.
21 Do not I hate them, O Lord, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?
22 I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

I found the article titled "Check Your Attitude" by Dr. Dale Robbins.  He says so well what I fail to put into words.    Read what he has to say about good attitudes and ways to develop one.  Its well worth the few minutes it will take you to read it.

"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." (Prov. 23:7)

I don't want to be Negative Nelly or Debbie Downer.  I want to be me, chosen by a risen Savior, striving to be more Christ-like every passing day, living a life full of praises that reflects a relationship with the Lord, fearfully and wonderfully made, with an attitude of gratitude. 

Lord, I've been in such a bad mood.  I don't even have a reason for my sour attitude.  It's just present.  Lord, search my heart and thoughts to remove any form of wickedness in me.  Help me to focus on the mercy and grace you have overwhelmingly poured out over my life and family.  When negative thoughts or feelings creep inside of me, I pray that they will be rebuked by the armour of a holy, righteous God.  I am so sorry for my bad attitude...You have been so good to me.  I am a spoiled brat at times.  I beg your forgiveness and ask for your mercy and grace again...Help me shine for you Lord.  Fill my vessel full of your love and kindness.  May a good attitude radiant from every aspect of my life...from my words to my actions to my most intimate details.  Lord you know them all, and I will continue to trust you to make a dramatic inner change in my life.  Lord, come quickly!  Show up BIG! Amen.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

One Word...

I've seen so many of my fellow blogging friends who are picking one word for 2012.  One Word 365 is an alternative to setting New Year's Resolutions.  It is...

"One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live
or what you want to achieve by the end of 2012.
One word that you can focus on every day, all year long.
It will take hard work, and will require intentionality and commitment.
 But if you let it, your One word will shape you and your year.
It will guide your decisions and help you grow."

So, I picked a word...

I'm six months late, but better late than never, right?

When I started the Couch to 5K, I really struggled with breathing.  I was concentrating on surviving.  Deidre had to keep reminding me that I needed to breathe..."breathe through your will help regulate your breathing."  I couldn't.  I struggled.  I've been struggling with asthma for the past year. 
While it was really hard for me to find just one word to concentrate on, when I saw the picture above, I knew it was IT...the one word for the remaining half of 2012.  "Breathe."  It's the first thing I forget to do when the going gets tough. 

So, why "Breathe?"  What is God teaching me about this word? First off, it doesn't only apply to running.

1. to take air, oxygen, etc., into the lungs and expel it; inhale and exhale; respire.
2. (in speech) to control the outgoing breath in producing voice and speech sounds.
3. to pause, as for breath; take rest: "How about giving me a chance to breathe?"
4. to move gently or blow lightly, as air.
5. to live; exist: "Hardly a man breathes who has not known great sorrow."
So, what is God teaching me about breathing?
"And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul."  (Genesis 2:7)
Breathing is to live.  Having breath is having life.  We can't survive without it.
"All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness." (2 Timothy 3:16)
All scripture is God breathed.  Reading God's word, or inhaling His inspiration, is profitable.  Breathing in God's word is having communion with Him. 

Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord."  (Psalm 150:6)

Breathing is a form of worship.  As long as I have breath, I should be praising the Lord.

When the going gets rough...and it will, I should be pausing to remember to inhale God's strength, wisdom, and security...exhale my fatigue, anxiety, and doubt...  I should remember Who I belong to and how He will sustain me.  Throughout the good and bad experiences I may encounter, I will praise God with every breath He has mercifully given me.  While I am running this race we call life, when I feel completely overwhelmed, when my heart aches with sorrow, when my strength is all gone...I must remember to breathe and find rest in Him.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Mayan or Your'n

Today at work, we were collectively speaking about the Mayan calendar and the hoopla surrounding the projected date the world will end.   If you haven't heard about it, you can google it.  I couldn't really find a reputable source to link to.  Basically, it turned out that the Mayan calendar, which predicts the end of the world on Dec 21, 2012, may be wrong.  Well (reverting back to my teenage ways), "DUH!!!"

I don't even know how or why the conversation came up, but I made the comment, "The only person who knows when the world will end is the Lord."  Then, I said, "And I'm ready...He can come today."  My co-workers looked at me as if I had the bubonic plague.  One even asked me if I was in a bad it really so bad to be eagerly awaiting the Lord's return?  I don't think so.  Come quickly, Lord.  I'm ready!

I'm pretty sure the Mayan calendar doesn't match Yourn's either...

Who did you discuss the Lord with today?

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Who am I?

I'm coming off a difficult weekend...a smack-you-in-the-face-because-sometimes-life stinks kind of weekend.  It was also a much-needed-reality-check-because-Elaine-just-can't-fix-everything kind of weekend. 

Hello, my name is Elaine.  I'm a fixer. 

When my kids have boo-boos, I get band aids and kisses to fix the boo-boo.  When my house seems out of order, I rearrange my priorities to get things all in place, or "I fix it" if you will.  I often do a quick-clean which is basically put a band aid over the mess.  When I know people who need something, I instantly jump in to motion.  When people I love hurt, I want to fix them. 

I'm also a hindrance.

When my own motivation to fix things gets in the way of what God wants to accomplish, I hinder the work He wants to do in another's life.  I take control instead of "Letting Go, Letting God..." blah, blah, blah *insert lots of eye rolling*.  In the process, I wonder how often I have hindered something BIG that the the Lord wants to do...I actually shudder at the possibility that I have more often been a hindrance than a help to someone. 

Reality check:  When I jump into motion, I am allowing the other party to take their eyes off God and His ability to fix things.  I am actually limiting Him, whether I realized it before now or not.  Not limiting His ability, per se`.  I'm not so naive to believe that God is incapable of intervening between my plan and His.  But I am hindering the other person's ability to keep their eyes on Him...

So here's the truth:
Jesus is the answer to despair; Not me
Jesus is the answer to death; Not me
Jesus is the answer to peace; Not me
Jesus is the answer to the future; not me, Elaine Killian, the "I-need-to-let-go-and-let-God" believer, who I'm not but aspire to be.

Monday, May 21, 2012

New Vision

I've been struggling with blogging lately.  Nothing exciting has been happening in my life as of late (WooHoo!), so I've really been trying to sort what direction I'd like to take my blog in. 

My Prayers, His Promises is a record of my infertility struggles.  I began blogging as an outlet, therapy for the soul.  I felt so alone in my conception journey, but once I began to document my thoughts I had women come forward and offer to cry with my failure and celebrate my successes.  It just doesn't seem "normal" to blog there regularly any longer.  I do add to the blog from time to time:  bible versus which seem fitting for anyone in this journey, new blogs I've found, etc.  I won't be taking it down, and I continue to meet and pray for people who find there way to My Prayers His Promises.  (As a matter of fact, I've been praying for my friend Rita who found out right before Mother's day she is expecting!  She reached out to me through this blog, and there is nothing I love more than praying for women who are experiencing similar emotions as I felt--although I wished it were unnecessary for anyone to feel that way.)

Then, along came Killian Corner where I presently do most of my blogging.  The vast variety of topics include my family, church notes, prayer requests, venting, lists of things I like/dislike, etc.  There isn't really a theme, and truth be known, I'll probably continue to write here. 

I also created Between The Covers Book-Nook where I would occasionally record my thoughts on books I've read.  It's primary purpose was for me as a future Middle Grades Teacher.  I just wanted to keep quick thought about books I've read...was the book a good read?  What was the theme?  Which characters stood out?  Are the language or content areas which concern me for adolescent readers?  etc...  I'll probably continue to write here too occasionally.  (In fact, I'm reading a book right now called "To Save a Life" which is Christian adolescent fiction dealing with suicide that I plan to include a review of on this blog...If you only knew the irony in me downloading this book on Friday morning you would get cold chills.  Actually, not irony...totally "a God thing.")

So, what's my new vision?  Being Souled Out for Christ...but more importantly, AreYouSouledOut4Christ is going to be a place that I record anything pertaining to Christianity.  Topics such as what I'm learning about the bible...What is God teaching me in this current season of my life?  What questions do I have?  What bible verses am I learning?  What am I doing for Christ?  But MOST importantly, am I souled out 4 Christ...and does my life reflect that walk?

I invite you to join me as a follower (or lurker) in this new walk...where I live out John 3:30 "He must increase, but I must decrease."